It’s not uncommon for conflicts to arise in any relationship, and one issue that can cause tension is nagging. It can be frustrating to feel like someone is constantly badgering you to do something or acting in a way that you don’t appreciate. Solutions are always found within the balance. Every other thing existing externally most times tends toward chaos. Is this true?
However, it’s important to approach this topic with empathy and understanding, as both the person who is nagging and the one being nagged can be experiencing their own challenges and emotions. In this discussion, we’ll explore what the Bible has to say about nagging, while also recognizing the complexities and nuances of this issue.
What is Nagging?
In Proverbs 27:15-16, the Bible describes a nagging wife (or husband) as being like a constant dripping on a rainy day, and in Proverbs 21:19, it warns that it’s better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. While these verses use the term “wife,” the concept of nagging can apply to any relationship, including between friends, family members, and coworkers.
It’s important to note that the Bible doesn’t condone nagging as a healthy form of communication, and instead emphasizes the importance of showing respect and consideration to others. For example, Ephesians 4:29 states that we should not let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. This suggests that communication should be thoughtful and constructive, rather than critical and demanding.
Which Are you?
A Nagging Wife, A Quiet Husband or Vice versa
Most times people tend to believe that these two are separate beings. Well you are absolutely right and absolutely wrong. Yes, I said it! Although the bible says in Proverbs 27:15-25 that “A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day. 16 – How can you keep her quiet? Have you ever tried to stop the wind or ever tried to hold a handful of oil? 17 – People learn from one another, just as iron sharpens iron.
Let’s paint a picture: We have a nagging wife and a nagging husband, do you think they can co exist? Definitely not right. Verse 17 says People learn from one another, just as iron sharpens iron.
Let’s paint another picture but this time a Nagging husband and A Quiet wife, do you think they can co exist? No right.
Another picture: A Nagging wife and a quiet husband? No right. Wow, All No’s. If we answer no to all questions and we know from facts and examples that a man and woman should be together. So therefore it tells us that there is something missing. Something within the balance. But what can this be? Yeah you got it right – UNDERSTANDING.
What About Understanding?
John and Lisa
Okay, we have our answer of what can possibly be missing. How then can these two better understand themselves? Well that’s a tough question there. Now lets take a look at a simple analogy. John is married to Lisa. Lisa talks too much and John is an introvert or let’s say he is not gifted with the mouth. Lisa Loves John, and John loves Lisa. However, John can seem to stand Lisa when she starts to nag about things. On the other hand, Lisa do not like how John keeps shut at most things. Wow! two opposite world. That my friend is a case of little or no understanding. understanding comes from two root words under and standing.
This means that before a tree can get to stand on the ground, it must have gone through a process you missed out. Understanding is yes I know this person’s weak side but instead of capitalizing on that I choose to use what I’ve got to love them either way. I have a little assignment for you, the next time you are with your spouse find a way to get the both of you write out your weaknesses and strengths, preferably when the both of you are super excited. You can choose to do this separately or together. Whatever works for the both of you.
Understanding is a fruit with roots and definitely a seed. Some of its roots are agreement and quietness (Quiet people listens more and those that talk listens less) Colossians 4:6 – “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Proverbs 17:27 – “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”
Now you may be thinking that knowledge is the seed of understanding. Well you are right and wrong. ☺Got you again. Well, You see know is the ground in which understanding stands ..lol However, Attention is the seed of understanding. We can see this in Proverbs 4 :: NIV. Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. We will talk more on this in other posts.
Value Life Not Just Life
Anne-marie and James
James knows he talks too much but loves Ann-marrie, however, Anne-marrie knows she is the quiet type and quite annoying. They both know each other and take the initiative to help each other. Sometimes they both are worn out and can’t seem to cope with one another. Everything with value gets one out too you know. Your shoes gets worn out, your clothes gets worn out, your car soon gets worn out and even your house. But what you don’t seem to understand or should i say what you are missing out is the value treatment existing for all these items mentioned. If you treat your shoes better than your clothes, your clothes wear out faster. If you treat your clothes better than your car, your car wear out faster, and if you treat your car better than your house, your house wear out faster.
When you treat Anne less than your house, your relationship wear out faster than your house. Which comes first life or property. If property maybe you need to read Ecclesiastes 2:19. If you choose property, it is still something of life that will inherit your property. And that life that will inherit your property has a memory, is not a robot and so will inherit the dishonour and disvalue you give to a life. What you don’t seem to catch like the process of a tree within the ground is that, a lot happens in the unknown. The subconscious and unseen world has a major role to play in our overall existence. So, I will beckon on you to have a re-think.
In the end, we need to understand what works for us. As with Anne-marie and James, they both understand each other and make effort in giving attention to one another, not just their on their career and fancy stuffs. We must learn to accept one another Ephesians 4:32. Guess what, it’s a life long acceptance and endurance.
The Bible discourages nagging as a negative and damaging form of communication that can cause frustration and conflict in our relationships. Instead, it emphasizes the importance of showing respect, consideration, and kindness to others in our words and actions. By focusing on building up others and communicating constructively, we can avoid the pitfalls of nagging and cultivate healthy and positive relationships with those around us. While conflicts may still arise, a commitment to empathy and understanding can help us navigate these challenges with grace and compassion. Ultimately, the Bible’s teachings on communication and relationships remind us of the importance of treating others with love, kindness, and respect, even in difficult circumstances.