The term “narcissist” can be thrown around a lot, but the truth is that not all narcissists are the same. Some might cheat on their partner or otherwise play away from home, while others are entirely faithful and devoted. Some researchers believe that narcissism can be a good thing for relationships in some cases—as long as both parties are willing to put in the effort!
So if you’re wondering whether your partner’s lack of fidelity is due to them being a narcissist or just a plain old cheater (and who isn’t?), here’s what science has to say:
Who Is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is a person who has an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration. They can be very successful in their careers but are often miserable in personal relationships because they lack empathy and care only about themselves.
Narcissists tend to be charming, charismatic, and manipulative. But underneath the flashy veneer lies a fragile ego constantly seeking validation from others. When you fail to give them the admiration they crave, or if someone threatens their self-esteem by speaking truthfully about them (for example: pointing out that they aren’t perfect), narcissists lash out in anger or withdraw from their partner altogether.
Narcissists Are Known for Their Infidelity, but Their Relationships Can Be Monogamous and Exclusive.
It’s not uncommon for someone with narcissistic personality traits to be unfaithful. However, a narcissist can have a monogamous and exclusive relationship.
Narcissists are known for infidelity, but their relationships can be monogamous and exclusive. They may have difficulties maintaining commitment over time because of their low regard for others and tend to be preoccupied with themselves. Still, they can be faithful if they’re invested in the relationship (which is rare).
Narcissists Desire to Be Good Partners, but Their Struggle Is with Fidelity.
They can be very devoted, loyal, and committed to their partners. They can also be very loving and nurturing toward them. However, they cannot maintain these traits while having an affair because they will always feel that they are in control of the relationship. It’s not fair if their partner controls them or makes them do something that isn’t in their best interests (like being faithful).
To some extent, narcissists see relationships as a power struggle between two people who want different things from each other: one wants everything from the other, and the other wants nothing from the first person.
Narcissists Want the Same Things Other People Want in A Relationship.
Narcissists want the same things other people want in a relationship—to be loved, appreciated, and respected. Narcissists also want to feel like they matter and are secure. A narcissist’s goal is to have a partner who is happy with him or herself and doesn’t put him down for who he is. Narcissistic partners look for someone who will make them feel good about themselves and give them their space when needed.
The Good News: Narcissists Can Make Excellent Partners if They Want To.
While it’s true that narcissists are more likely to cheat than non-narcissists, they can make excellent partners if they want to. Even if a narcissist isn’t concerned with being faithful or infidelity, it might be best for them just for their partner’s well-being. If a partner believes their relationship is secure, they will feel safe from betrayal and, therefore, happier in their relationship—and happier people tend to stay in relationships longer!
A narcissist knows how important trust is in any relationship; how can you expect someone who doesn’t care about your feelings and needs to respect yours? A person deeply committed to being faithful will do everything they can to maintain trust with their partner—which means becoming more careful about keeping secrets and avoiding risky situations where temptation might arise (e.g., by meeting up with old friends).
Motivated Narcissists Can Work on Their Flaws for The Sake of Someone They Love.
Dear Narcissist,
You may be wondering how to make your relationship work. Here are some tips:
- Narcissists are motivated by love. If you want a narcissist to be faithful, then you must remind them that they are in love with someone else—and they should do everything they can to maintain this person’s happiness. It is the only way a narcissist will change their ways and become more selfless in a relationship. Without this motivation, there is no reason for them to behave like someone who cares about someone else’s feelings instead of their desires!
- Narcissists try more complex when there are consequences for bad behavior (such as losing the person they love). If there aren’t consequences or punishments for bad behavior, then narcissists won’t see any point in changing their ways!
A Narcissist Can Be Faithful, but It Might Take Some Work from Both Parties.
The Narcissist may need help with self-control and not acting on their impulses.
Narcissists are very possessive, so they have difficulty sharing a significant other with others, such as friends and family members.
They might find it challenging to let go of past relationships because they don’t believe in “letting go” at all.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that not all narcissists are wrong partners. Many narcissists can form intimate relationships with others and be faithful to them. The key is realizing what makes a narcissist behave this way and then using those insights to help them make the right decisions for their life together.